Friday, May 08, 2009

Perfect Pastor

I have to say I am reminded of this each time we come to appointment season.

Since it is time for church pastor turnover, and I know Ojai UMC is going to be receiving a new one...some thoughts

The Perfect Pastor

The results of a computerized survey indicate the perfect minister preaches exactly fifteen minutes. He condemns sins but never upsets anyone. He works from 8:00 AM until midnight and is also a janitor. He makes $50 a week, wears good clothes, buys good books, drives a good car, and gives about $50 weekly to the poor. He is 28 years old and has preached 30 years. He has a burning desire to work with teenagers and spends all of his time with senior citizens. The perfect minister smiles all the time with a straight face because he has a sense of humor that keeps him seriously dedicated to his work. He makes 15 calls daily on congregation families, shut-ins and the hospitalized, and is always in his office when needed.

If your minister does not measure up, simply send this letter to six other churches that are tired of their minister, too. Then bundle up your minister and send him to the church on the top of the list. In one week, you will receive 1,643 ministers and one of them will be perfect. Have faith in this procedure.

One chuch broke the chain and got its old minister back in less than three don't break the chain.



At May 08, 2009, Anonymous David Youngdale said...

Several years ago there was the story of a certain minister who pastored a church in Santa Paula, Cal. Things were not going especially well for him and he got lost in the mountains somewhere because he got very tired of the pressure. Eventually they found him, and as far as I know he was eventually restored. As parishioners we honestly don't totally understand or appreciate all the work and time the average good minister puts in to his job, 7 days a week. It is unfortunate that too often we (as parishioners) have barbecued or fricasseed Pastor for dinner on Sunday afternoon. I know that is very crude and blunt, but it didn't come from me, but from a certain well known and established minister I knew from Arizona. As a general good rule of thumb, don't criticize someone unless you can do better than they.

At May 09, 2009, Blogger starlight said...

I've seen this one before, but it's a good one! Can't help but chuckle, especially being the mother of a pastor.

I think I disagree with David Youngdale, however, in that I believe we must criticize whenever we see the need. It is important, however, to go first to the individual (whether pastor or someone else). Perhaps it's a matter of semantics. Perhaps David Y's use of "criticize" is not the same as my use of it.

The primary goal should not be to tear down (or barbecue) someone, but to encourage positive growth. Also, one can disagree with what someone does or says and still care about the individual.

At May 09, 2009, Blogger Deb said...

this is awesome!!! You made me laugh outloud! thank you!


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