Not that bad...

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today'sFUNNY===========================

YOU KNOW YOU'VE HAD TOO MUCH COFFEE WHEN...

~ You can type sixty words a minute...with your feet.

~ Instant coffee takes too long.

~ You chew on other people's fingernails.

~ You answer the door...before people knock.

~ You sleep with your eyes open.

~ You go to sleep, just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.

~ You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.

~ You're the employee of the month at Starbucks and you don't even work there.

~ You lick your coffeepot clean.

~ You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.

~ You're so wired you pick up FM radio.

~ You have a picture of your coffee mug, on your coffee mug!

Methophile

I have to admit I am a bit of a Methodist Geek...but more uniquely in the reading kind of way.

And I have been searching for a word that describes the collection of Methodist Memorabilia, is it Methophilia?

Lately, I have been cataloging my collection of Disciplines, and next it will be the Hymn books (I just have to find a good reference book for a Methodist Hymnograph)

I read all kinds of literature, and subscribe to countless (okay I could count them, but I don't) UM blogs, twitter feeds and Facebook friends and pages.

I recently opened up the UM Connector from the Oregon Idaho Conference, to find them quoting a Bishop from Minnesota, Bishop Sally Dyck (found online here: http://www.umoi.org/enewsletterarchives/detail/147 ) I have reprinted that here at the end of this post. And then a little more about the Nativity scene as we know it from another Methodist Blogger from Wales - Richard Hall is here:
http://theconnexion.net/wp/?p=11803#axzz1hIu8JbuF

COMMENTARY

The Smell of Christmas Is Not Always Pretty
By Bishop Sally Dyck*

Imagine this. You go to church, and the pastor dumps a bag of manure in the center aisle. Soon the stench begins to overwhelm the other aromas: the cologne people received in their Christmas stockings, pine branches, candles burning.

That might be the best Christmas sermon you could receive: a sensory message that jars your thinking about what Christmas is.

You see, the Christmas story begins with a certain stench. It’s not just the cattle in the barn, but an economic situation where the emperor is taking a census to increase taxes in an already depressed economy. Political situations where people live as captives. Personal situations, such as Mary giving birth away from home. Her new family being homeless.

Christmas was born in stench.

For many people this Christmas, life stinks. Today it stinks that Grandma has Alzheimer’s and sometimes doesn’t even recognize your voice. It stinks to get that cancer diagnosis. It stinks to endure surgery. For some, it stunk long before the economic downturn, before they lost their jobs, before they wondered if anything would ever be the way it once was, before they got cancer, before the divorce, before bad things happened. For others, the stink is fresh and new, overpowering in its physical and spiritual pungency. We’ve all faced times in our lives and with each other that stink.

But life stinks sometimes, whether we made the stink ourselves or it just happens to us like a pile of manure being dumped on our parade.

Yet, even in the midst of the stink, the message of Christmas is: God is with us . . . and there must be a pony in there somewhere!

But how will people know God is with us and there’s hope, like getting that pony, unless we who claim faith in Christ Jesus share that love with them?

It’s a sweet-smelling Christmas for others and us when we share the love of God, the love of family and a faith community, and a hope that only comes from Christ Jesus to make a difference in a world that sometimes really stinks.

* Bishop Sally Dyck is episcopal leader of the Minnesota Area

Augustinian?

Okay, so I probably need more help from my more scholarly friends out there on this one.

I have been preaching Wesley's forms of Grace - Prevenient, Justifying, Sanctifying and Perfected in Love, with the attendant actions of human kind, repentance, restoration, and holy action during the Advent season this year.

I have also been doing this backward, which means it was Prevenient Grace that I preached this past Sunday. As such, I delved a little into Augustinian Theology.

Now, this is where some corrective may be necessary. I understand Augustine to tell us that we are at Core, born into original sin, and therefore sinful. I held this in contrast to Wesley, who seems to say, we are at Core made in the image of God, and therefore Holy beings. Original Sin, then, in a Wesleyan context is our own "bent to sinning", which introduces Prevenient Grace. Prevenient Grace is God's permanent call to each of us that we are loved and desired for relationship. God doesn't sit idly by while we figure out whether to come back, but is constantly searching the horizon for our return (those who are hearing the story of the Prodigal Son in echo may have a fuller picture of the sermon).

Justification then is what happens when we return to God, but does not stop upon our return to God.

I dare say that Augustine might well be missing the Sanctification element of Wesley. For if we are at Core sinful beings, and justification restores us to God's presence, then there is no real chance of losing salvation for Augustine, which Wesley definitely says is possible - losing salvation that is.

Just thinking out loud, and checking myself.

Peace,

Thanks-Giving

Of late I have begun to notice the correlation between Thankfulness and Giving more closely.

As such, I offer a few things that have helped me to notice this...

I am thankful for the Food Pantry and Disability Supply closet we have at the church. In sharing the story of thankfulness for this, one of our Boy Scouts in Troop 87 took this as his Eagle Project to expand it. In sharing that story of thankfulness, the supplies of food and disability supplies have grown, even as the use of those supplies has grown.

I am thankful for my family, my wife and child, as well as my extended family, Mom/Dad, Grandma, and my Sisters and their families. In telling them how thankful I am for them, the time we have dedicated to one another has grown, and those experiences, even when strained have led me to be more thankful, and giving of my time.

I am thankful for the service professionals who have helped serve me - in Food Service, Maid Service, Car Service, Banks, and even the greeters at the hospital who direct me to the right place. In giving thanks for their time, attention to my concerns, and simply sharing that with them, I have found them more willing to take an extra step to make things easier for me and my family, as well as my own willingness to give them more flexibility in dealing with things I did not want to address, as well as paying them more than I had previously.

I m grateful for the ministries of St. Andrew UMC, and so I have found myself giving more of myself and my attentions to helping grow those ministries and supporting them, with my words, my money, and my time, as well as my expertise and the expertise of those who are most helpful to the varying needs present therein.

All of this is in response to God's faithful giving to me, and my awareness and thankfulness for that which I notice, which translates to loving God and loving neighbor more. In turn, I find I am more giving, of time, energy, knowledge and ultimately love.

I guess there must be something to that song my dear daughter was singing this week...
Magic Penny
Notes: words and music by Malvina Reynolds; copyright 1955 and 1958 Northern Music Corporation, renewed 1986. a.k.a. "Love Is Something." Despite the later copyright dates, this song was actually written while Malvina's daughter was at a junior high school dance, so around 1949.


Love is something if you give it away,
Give it away, give it away.
Love is something if you give it away,
You end up having more.

It's just like a magic penny,
Hold it tight and you won't have any.
Lend it, spend it, and you'll have so many
They'll roll all over the floor.

For love is something if you give it away,
Give it away, give it away.
Love is something if you give it away,
You end up having more.

Money's dandy and we like to use it,1
But love is better if you don't refuse it.
It's a treasure and you'll never lose it
Unless you lock up your door.

For love is something if you give it away,
Give it away, give it away.
Love is something if you give it away,
You end up having more.

So let's go dancing till the break of day,
And if there's a piper, we can pay.
For love is something if you give it away,
You end up having more.

For love is something if you give it away,
Give it away, give it away.
Love is something if you give it away,
You end up having more.

Crazy - Perhaps

Yesterday, as I was standing at the copier waiting for a few more copies to come off the press for a Finance meeting at the church I spied out the front door of the office a few youths with a video camera and a bike positioned at the top of the stairs from the street into the church parking lot.

I admit we have one of those signs that prohibits any kind of skating, biking, etc on church property. I also freely admit that we sometimes provide a safer environment to allow some stupidity than other areas of the city, and so I am a little more relaxed about all this.

So, as this young man was on his bike at the top of the stairs I noted that the rail along the side of the stairs was pretty tight on the concrete block wall. Even more dangerous is the fact that the railing is straight while the block wall is stair stepped down. That is to say, trying a rail ride on the pegs of the bike would invariably end up in a major calamity.

I quietly walked out to the boys, where the cameraman was sure to turn the camera on me to get the reaction I had to their coming stunt. I simply checked in with the boys to see what their plan was...simply to ride the stairs down, and I admitted my fear that they were going to try something truly stupid and railride the obviously problematic handrail/stepped block wall combination.

As I turned my back to walk back inside the young man on the bike made a tremendous jump and cleared the approximately 12 steps in a single jump. He did not ride the rail and he did not simply ride the stairs down.

No injuries, to him, or anyone else. I often wonder what the real insurance concerns are with this, how liability plays in, and whether I am doing anything of real worth with the young men and women who come to our church (or any church I have served) to find a safe and somewhat interesting landscape to try their tricks.

What is your position, understanding, etc?

SERVICE

The Mission of the Church is to SERVE

I have been involved in a number of conversations of late about the structure of the United Methodist Church, especially as the local church relates to the Conference and General Church.

One of the primary concerns raised time and again is that the Local Church is the Basic Unit of Instruction for this to take place. The Discipline has this to say in ¶ 120. “The Mission—The mission of the Church is to make disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of the world. Local churches provide the most significant arena through which disciple-making occurs.”

The Mission Statement of St. Andrew UMC offers this understanding, “To serve God by sharing, teaching and living the Word”.

The United Methodist Church is currently working through a structural change as outlined in the Call to Action Report, which can be found online here: http://www.umc.org/calltoaction.

The California-Pacific Annual Conference is also undergoing several changes to the structure, including the organization of committees, the number and size of Districts, as well as local Mission Areas.
With all the changes proposed to the District, Conference and General Church, a number of people around me are asking questions about what the actual purpose of a church is. This is especially heightened when finances are tight, as they are now, in local churches, right on up to the General Church. I have mentioned lately in my sermons that we need to consider this same question for St. Andrew UMC.

Ultimately, Jesus Christ gave us a fairly direct answer. Matthew 28:19-20 says this: “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

We, the church, local, and national need to get out of ourselves. We need to care more about the people who aren’t in the pews of ANY church, than we do about ourselves, and the survival of our institutions. The balance we strive for is to maintain enough institution to provide for the needs of others as a collective service agency, such as a preschool, a food pantry, disability closet, international missionary or other avenue of service, while also coordinating the efforts of the greatest resources available to any church or organization, the people who are there. We come to serve – our God and our neighbor.

Peace,
David Camphouse

The Neighbors

What kind of relationship do you have with your neighbors?

Then think about what kind of relationship you have with the neighbors of your church or work.

I got to thinking about it a little more today. We had outside worship, at a strange hour, with lots of animals, dogs, cats, a bunny and a horned toad. You see today was World Communion Sunday, and for the life of St. Andrew UMC, we also celebrated the Feast of St. Francis with a Campout last night at the church, followed by a Blessing of the Animals during worship today.

We don't really know the names of our neighbors. We prayed for them all last year about this time as we walked the neighborhood. But we didn't meet them at the door to say hi. (There were a few chance encounters of folks out to check things). We have since hosted a wedding reception for our most immediate next door neighbor, but don't have much we have done to engage all of our over-the-fence neighbors, or even those within two blocks of the church.

Part of the communication plan for this coming year probably ought to involve something to engage those neighbors, so we can communicate with them, about special events, and how to manage those things (including perhaps the HS and College Football games held at the HS across the Street), as well as concerns and issues as some have noted in the past - like sprinkler (or lack thereof) issues, and trees that may be fall hazards.

Have you engaged your neighbors at work or church? Do you have a plan of action for this? What has worked, and been most effective in talking with these the most immediate of you neighbors?

Peace,

A Simple Funeral

Okay, so sometimes I park a few items here for memory sake.

This happens to be one of them, and I welcome your thoughts or suggestions about this basic outline for developing a funeral with a family...

PRELUDE

Seating of Family

SPECIAL MUSIC

WELCOME

PRAYER

HYMN

SCRIPTURE

EULOGY

SCRIPTURE

HOMILY

PRAYER

THE LORD'S PRAYER: Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil, for Thine is the Kingdom, and the power and the glory forever. Amen.

COMMENDATION OF THE BODY

BENEDICTION

EXIT OF THE FAMILY

POSTLUDE

Random Happenings around the Interwebs

Some of the recent links that have been helpful, interesting, thought provoking, and/or amusing.

The Alloy of Law excerpts from Brandon Sanderson (same guy who is finishing up the Robert Jordan Wheel of Time series)

http://www.tor.com/features/series/the-alloy-of-law

Kudzu Life: The Troublemaker Series #3: The Clergy

http://kudzulife.blogspot.com/2011/09/troublemaker-series-3-umc-clergy.html

Sharing God's Goodness Through Grief:

http://www.morethandodgeball.com/youth-ministry/guest-post-taste-and-see-%E2%80%93-sharing-god%E2%80%99s-goodness-through-grief.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+simplyjosh+%28MoreThanDodgeball.com%29

Metanoia from Daniel Wilcox, as shared by Pastor Rick Bloom:

http://infiniteoceanoflightandlove.blogspot.com/2011/09/change-our-mindsour-lives-metanoia.html

The Pastoral Passion Need Not Fade:

http://justcallmepastor.wordpress.com/2011/09/11/the-pastoral-passion-need-not-fade/

10 Disturbing De-s of the Bible:

http://www.nakedpastor.com/2011/09/07/the-10-disturbing-de-s-of-the-bible/

Peace,

$500,000

I have spoken with several folks recently, who when a loved one passed away they came into a goodly size sum of money.

I have also worked with several churches who have had the same blessing shared with them.

I posit for your consideration:

You just received $500,000, how would you use it?

Your church just received $500,000 how would they use it?

For those who would have the fortune of being able to speak from experience, I would like to ask you to imagine what would happen right now - not what was, as that experience has certainly shaped how actions might change or be affected at this moment.

Peace,

Extra Cannonical Thoughts from the Cannon of My Sermon

I spoke this morning about the difference in "giving up my life" for a cause I believe in.

We are called as Christians to be willing to do exactly that.

The persons who destroyed the World Trade Centers, the Pentagon, and those who attacked Pearl Harbor (a tangential commonality) all had such a belief as well.

The difference comes at the cost of the life of others.

Those who must destroy others, find their life forfeit as a side-effect of such action.

Those who stand up, in courage, for their belief ultimately find their death because of the action of others.

The thought occurred to me that those who must destroy another to rid the world of that belief, and to make their own superior, must by the very reason that such behavior is necessary, be in an unreasonable belief system.

If my ideology is strong enough, by its own merit, then it will have a life beyond my physical might. The very power of reason, and moreover, its substance, as I act out such belief, will provide the means by which such ideology can surround the world. My death then becomes a warning peal to all others that what I stood for was a threat.

Those who cannot change the world with their belief, and subsequent action, must therefore destroy all opposition, because it cannot stand on its own merits.

May I have the grace and ability to do as I believe, and believe in such a way as to convince others, rather than find needs to destroy them, so that my beliefs may live.

Peace,

Quote of the Day

From a friend at church:

"There is nothing in my hand that was not put there by another."

Thanks Alex. I found it to be a helpful hermeneutic with Stewardship Campaigns on the way.

Blessing of the Animals

To help facilitate the Blessing of the Animals, we will be having one worship service at 10AM, Sunday October 2nd.

Each year on or near the Feast Day of St. Francis, which falls on October 4th, there are requests for a liturgy of blessing for animals. This practice has a history at St. Andrew UMC, sometimes taking place in the Spring, near Easter, as a celebration of new life. This year, 2011, we will be celebrating the Blessing of the Animals October 2nd.

We have the all church campout on October 1 and 2 here at the church. We will be using this time to remember the simple times when people lived together in small communities, with the animals living in and among the people.

We invite all persons of the church, the Happy Hollow Preschool, the Music Academy and other members of the Santa Maria Valley Community to join us, with your pets invited as well. We will be outside on our courtyard lawn. Large animals may be staked along the side yard of the church, near the outdoor chapel, and small pets are invited in appropriate carrying cases. If you need space for a horse trailer or otherwise, we do have space for these vehicles on our upper parking lot in the dirt area.

We have incorporated the Blessing of the Animals into the normal order of worship, and we will celebrate Communion as well, as we usually do the First Sunday of the Month.

For more information, please feel free to call the church office (805)937-2470, or my phone (805)421-3521, or even send me an email david.camphouse@gmail.com

Blessings in advance.

Visitation Thoughts

Pastor’s Corner, September 2011

I feel as though we have only just begun. We started this journey of faith together two short years ago, and much has happened, in the life of the church, in your lives and in mine. So, I feel like, even for those that I have had a chance to visit with over a meal, coffee, in your homes, or workplace, or even here at the church in my office, I need to sit down and check in with you again.

I hope that during the Fall we can find time to do exactly that. I am, once again, asking for your help. Please call the church office (805)937-2470, or my phone (805)421-3521, or even send me an email david (dot) camphouse (at) gmail (dot) com to set up a visit. I will be working on checking in with those who do not call ahead to set up an appointment, but I would encourage you to go ahead and set something up according to your schedule early on, so that in trying to get to everyone, and dealing with the regular concerns of the church administration, weekly preaching, and emerging issues, like hospital visits, and funerals, that we can be sure to connect.

One of the joys of meeting with the people of St. Andrew during the Summer and Fall of 2009 when I arrived was that several people got together with friends and family to host a meal, or to come by the church as we talked. I was so blessed because I have often discovered that our memories are enhanced as we share tales with one another, spurring stories from other people who are gathered there too. The tapestry of lives is then put together in a different way than if I were just to hear from one person at a time.

Some of you may be wondering if I have an agenda with these meetings. My purpose in these meetings is to come with a very simple agenda, to hear your story, how your life has been intermingled with the life of St. Andrew UMC, and to listen to you as you help me get to know you more clearly. If you have agenda items you want to discuss when we visit, those are perfectly acceptable to me, whether they are church business items, life changes, or questions for me about me and my life. I am open to all of these, and just a time to visit.

Thank you for helping me get these visits scheduled, and understanding as Alesia and I call to set up these appointments so I can get to know you, Santa Maria St. Andrew UMC, and the Santa Maria Valley.

Blessings,
David Camphouse

Pounding Our Pastor

Pounding Our Pastor David (sort-of)

It sounds painful, but it’s really not. Pounding the Pastor stems from an old tradition

also known as Food Pounding where church congregations welcomed their new pastors by

giving them a pound of something for their home. We are going to follow this tradition

of “Pounding” when we welcome Reverend David Camphouse back to our congregation. Yes,

we know he was reassigned to our congregation the end of June. But we, and he, have been

very busy doing other things like vacations, workshops, camps, etc., and David felt it would

be better to wait until September to have his ‘welcome back’ celebration.

We are asking that everyone bring a “pound” of something to welcome him. You are not

limited to, but can certainly include foodstuffs, such as a pound of flour, coffee, nuts

or chocolate chips. Feel free to also contribute nonfood items, maybe office or garden

supplies. You are only limited by your imagination! Feel free to include a note saying who

the pound is from.

As a twist on this “pounding” David has asked that the food items be donated in his name

to the “new” resource of our food pantry. Items should be new, with clear current labeling

and; should you want to give baked or cooked goods for our pantry freezer, be clearly

labeled with contents and securely packaged ready to go into our freezer. This is not an

opportunity for you to clean out your cabinets or freezer, bring the good stuff. Stuff you

would want for your family.

If you are not aware of our “new” resource of our food pantry, tours will be given on that

Sunday so you may be aware of the expanded resource we now have available for those in

need. Included in the food pantry area is our disability closet which has a

We will be presenting our “pounds” to David between and after services on Sunday,

September 18th. There will be refreshments, food and disability closet (garage) tours,

and an opportunity for you to express your appreciation to David for his work here at St.

Andrew United Methodist Church.

Again, here’s what to remember:

Sunday, September 18th, between and after services

A “Pounding” to welcome Reverend David Camphouse back to St. Andrew for another year

Bring a “food” gift for the church’s food pantry or freezer in his honor.

Thanks,

SPRC Committee

SMSAUMC in Ministry

Matthew 10:8 reminds us of the work of the Disciples, as Jesus sent them out to do ministry.

“Cure the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers, cast out demons. You received without payment; give without payment.”

Matthew 25:34-40 reminds us that the work given to the disciples is not that far from what we have been commissioned to do in the name of Jesus Christ as well.

34Then the king will say to those at his right hand, “Come, you that are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; 35for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, 36I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me.” 37Then the righteous will answer him, “Lord, when was it that we saw you hungry and gave you food, or thirsty and gave you something to drink?38And when was it that we saw you a stranger and welcomed you, or naked and gave you clothing? 39And when was it that we saw you sick or in prison and visited you?” 40And the king will answer them, “Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me.”

With these texts in mind, I want to say thank you to the people of St. Andrew UMC, for their faithful witness in ministry throughout Santa Maria, and the world.

Some of the ministries we named during worship on Sunday, July 24th are:
-Afghans for homebound and sick
-Ministry of presence with those who are sick (at home, in the ER or in the hospital)
-Healing the sick; by anointing with oil and prayers, laying on of hands, and through medical practice.
-Welcoming the stranger
-Returning lost sheep to the fold (bringing persons back to the church who have left or been shunned from the church)
-Clothing the naked; direct giving to persons in need of clothes, and through charitable giving with agencies like Goodwill, Salvation Army, and Catholic Charities.
-Faithful participation in a prayer group
-Leading a Bible Study
-Offering Hope and Compassion for all persons
-Contributions of time, talents and money to the local animal shelter and the ASPCA
-Feeding the hungry, with meals provided through Meals on Wheels, delivered home-made meals, welcoming friend and stranger to our tables, contributions to the Food Bank and the Food Pantry at SAUMC.
-Reading to kids
-Donations to the Disability Closet, either through SAUMC or the Elks.
-Offering senior counseling services, for taxes, medicare, and support.
-Participation in Youth Education beyond those ministries already attached to SAUMC, like Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, Academy of Music, Happy Hollow Preschool and Youth Group.
-Charitable gifts to Muscular Dystrophy, Susan G. Komen Foundation, and various other organizations.
-Providing Shelter, by helping others pay for rent, and utilities.

Often we forget these ministries when we think of the ministries of St. Andrew UMC. We need not limit the ministry that St. Andrew UMC engages and enables to those ministries that are housed or sponsored directly through the giving of St. Andrew UMC.

I am grateful for this witness, and the ongoing witness each of you conveys as a result of the work of Jesus Christ in your lives. I am grateful for a church, such as St. Andrew that equips and encourages each of you to go out into the world and be ministers of the Gospel, for the Glory of God.

Thank you,

David Camphouse