Monday, September 14, 2009


I was talking with my dad the other day up the trail to Ruby Lake.

On it I had this nagging feeling of internal conflict, and I couldn't quite make sense of it. As I was thinking it through I just kept muttering "I don't know. I don't know". I guess that should be a clue to those around me that I am having some sort of conflict internally about something. Now, whether or not I can articulate that at any given moment may be a real stretch.

However, at this particular juncture I realized it was about wanting MORE. I want more. I was, and am, conflicted about what I really want more of.

I thought about the trail and the hiking. I do want to do that kind of activity more. I was thinking about the house we live in and how there are more projects I want to get done. I want more space. I want less stuff. I want more of different stuff. I want more financial security. I want to spend more.

I struggled with these conflicting emotions in my head. I rehashed several of the conversations surrounding Adam Hamilton's book, "Enough". I realized I also want to have more Discipleship, and that wanting more is not the evil that it has come to represent to many.

More education. More generosity. More kindness. More Spiritual development. More exploration of the Scriptures. More time with people. More compassion and more love. More hope. More Hospitality. These are all good things. For some they will ask more of me. For some I will have to have less.

I thought about all of this as I was considering how kind people are in the wilderness. It is impolite not to say hi to each person you pass on the trail. It is rude not to warn people of coming dangers, or that you are running them down from behind.

I want more of that kind of life. Now for the hard part - making it a reality; with MORE


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